


Under Da Racism

by ThreeHats



Category: The Little Mermaid (1989), Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-06-02 16:07:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6572923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThreeHats/pseuds/ThreeHats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bogo and Judy have to put aside their prejudices to solve a case.</p><p>All characters, locations and scenarios were pulled out of a hat to create this story, which was written in 30 minutes or less.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Under Da Racism

All characters, locations and scenarios were pulled out of a hat to create this story, which was written in 30 minutes or less.

 **Characters:** Chief Bogo, Judy Hopps  
**Location:** Under da Sea  
**Scenario:** Being a racist

Officer Judy Hopps furrowed her brown, squinting at the series of incomprehensible squiggles that she had jotted upon her waterproof notepad. Taking notes during an subaquatic investigation had proven difficult enough with her breathing apparatus affecting her vision, but she gave herself some credit - it was about as coherent as the mumbo jumbo that was currently babbling out of their witness' mouth.

"All right, Mr. Sebastian, was it?" the sharp blade of Chief Bogo's grunts had been dulled by the pressure of the ocean, his voice thin and warbling like a mouse sized police siren. "Run that by us one more time. You say your princess has been... cursed, was it?"

"Dat's right!" Sebastian, the underwater ruler's part time crustacean custodian and full time jittery ball of stress, enunciated perfectly as though the oceanic realm held no sway on his vocal chords. Judy assumed, as anyone else might who heard him half-speak half-sing, that he had vocal chords. "She been cursed by a mighty no good sea watch, she 'as! It's no laughin' matter!"

"Nobody here is laughing, Mr. Sebastian," Bogo insisted. Judy would have sworn in a court of law on the holy bible of the Zootheran Church that Bogo was not even capable of such an act. "However, there are a few details of your story that are rather... sketchy, shall we say? For example, the fact that the person in question-"

"Mer-person," Judy chimed in helpfully, though judging by the look she received from her bovine superior it was not taken as such. "Sorry, Chief. But that's what they prefer to be called, and if we're going to be able to examine all the details of the case, we have to be able to differentiate between mer-folk and just plain... folk."

Chief Bogo adjusted the tight fitting wetsuit about his barrel-like chest and harumphed, his breath fogging up the inside of his diving helmet. His badge glimmered greenly in the sunlight filtering down into the clearing at the bottom of the ocean, trappings of seaweed caught triumphantly by one of its golden edges like it were the star player in the Zootopia Timberwolves baseball team - who were the top of the league at catching and fetching, though not so hot at hitting the ball long distances.

"Indeed," Bogo conceded reluctantly, "the fact that the... MER-person in question, was known to have harbored many valuable stolen goods in her possession. Royalty or not, Mr. Sebastian-"

"Are you going to take dis case seriously or not, mmm?!" the uppity crab swam forward and plastered itself to the front of Bogo's helmet, practically spread his limbs and appendages across it like some underwater facehugger. Judy stifled a giggle as she noticed Bogo's expression change from stern to stunned. "A young girl's life is on da line! Not only dat, but da king's own daughter! Ariel! Da kingdom will tear itself apart till it knows she is safe and sound!"

With one hoofed hand, Bogo sullenly prised the anxious undersea creature from his protective helm and held him firmly, attempting to calm the frantic fellow with his typical Chief Bogo bedside manner. "Look, crab. We're going to locate your missing princess. If she's in Zootopia, there's only so many places a half-girl half-dolphin can go before someone notices. So until then, I'd appreciate if you canned it with all this Jamaican jibberish and let us do our job."

"JAMAICAN JIBBERISH?!" Sebastian cried as though delivering some meaningful Shakespearian soliloquy. "YOU GONNA BE IN HOT WATER IF KING TRITON FINDS OUT HOW APATHETIC YOU ARE BEIN' ABOUT DIS INVESTIGATION!"

Before Bogo could manage to exacerbate things further, Judy stepped - or rather swam - forward, her ears folded down about her shoulders as they would have struggled to fit in the helmet without some serious modifications. She gave the chief a calm and collected look that told him that she could handle this, and he returned her a scowl that suggested he no longer wished to handle it, no matter whether she could or not.  


"Sebastian," said Judy, her gloved paws clasped together in front of her. The fields upon fields of seaweed surrounding them reminded her of the vast stretches of farmland back home in Bunnyburrow, though she imagined this environment would be far too turbulent for her easygoing parents. "We'll find Princess Ariel. Like the chief said, a girl like that can't go missing for too long without witnesses. I'm sure there are people lining up back at the precinct to tell us all about how they just saw a half-naked redhead girl struggling to cross the road. But we just need a little more information, is all. We're not exactly used to dealing with magical powers in our investigations."

"Or Jamaican jibberish, I reckon," Sebastian murmured to himself angrily, not unlike Bogo himself was known to.

Judy shot Bogo another look - this one imploring.

"Mr. Sebastian," Bogo sighed reluctantly, his tone of voice adopting one not dissimilar to Judy's as she had been addressing the caterwauling crustacean. "Jamaican or otherwise, your testimony is crucial to our case. We are at your disposal, and we intend to find your missing..." Another look to Judy. "... Mer-person. So if you would kindly join us back at the station, we would like to get your full statement regarding the disappearance."

"Not gonna happen!" Sebastian bellowed emphatically. "You think I'm gonna leave the ocean and go up to the surface world? Dat's what got us in this pickle in the first place! I'd prefer to be down here, under da sea! You know, everything's better down where it's wetter."

"I'll have to take your word for that," Bogo grimaced, folding his arms. "But we really do need your statement."

"I think I've got everything we need written down, Chief!" Judy insisted, indicating her notepad. Most of what she had written had been made indecipherable by having penned it underwater, but what she couldn't make out she could very easily recall from memory. She had an ear for details. Two of them. Big ones. "Besides, it sounds like things would fall apart down here if we dragged Sebastian away from his duties for much longer."

"Absolutely right!" Sebastian agreed proudly.

Bogo growled, though Judy wasn't sure that he'd once stopped growling the entire time they'd been conversing with the crab. "Fine. I'm not even sure why we're investigating this anyway. Surely hundreds of leagues below the ocean's surface is beyond our jurisdiction."

Before any plot holes could be opened even wider, Officer Hopps and Chief Bogo thanked Sebastian for his aid and returned to the surface, to Zootopia, where an innocent red-headed mer-princess was likely wandering naked through the streets.

Sebastian returned to King Triton's side and told him of the strange, racist folk that lived above the water. But King Triton cared not. All he cared was that these strange folk, racist or otherwise, might find his daughter and return his kingdom - and his heart - to peace.


End file.
